I really fell awkward.

Depressed.

Oppressed.

Angry.

It’s very difficult growing up in a family in which everything is superficial.

It’s very difficult living in a house with two or more families.

It’s not okay that as the younger sibling, you’re obligated to understand them, to ask for forgiveness even if it’s not your fault because of the sole reason that YOU are YOUNGER.

I’d been—what—living or wasting 10 years of my life with the same sentiments.

I have to be obedient because I’M YOUNGER.



When I was 14, I was forced to live with my grand mother—that’s okay with me—I know my grandmother loves me. But the problem was that, the family of her youngest son lives with her. I spent 7 years na nakikisama sa kanila.



My grandmother said, “Tiis lang, once you graduated, You won’t experience the same thing.”



After I graduated and got a job, I left for Manila and lived with my Mom.

BUT

Her brother and his family moved in with us.

So again, Pakisama na naman.



Sa sobrang family oriented ng mga Pilipino, bilang mas nakababata sa pamilya, hindi ka pwedeng mag-mataas. Kahit pagkakamali pa nila o may kasalan man sila, porke’t ikaw ang mas bata ikaw ang magpakumbaba.



Nakaka-asar na.



Sabi nila, there’s two sides of a story, pero ang mga kamag-anak ko, pinapaniwalaan lang nila ang mga asawa nila.



I’m now living independently, pero parang ganun parin.

Nothing changed.

Kasi konting galaw mo, binibigyan nila ng issue.



If I’d be given the chance to disconnect my family ties and forget them.

I would.

I’d gladly wish that I could.

---